Fear has always been a contagious malady for those who impotently give in to it. Today, I am going to tap into the matter of fear as I know that fear is to be the most basic human emotion for an individual to feel when they stumble upon a subject they are not familiar with.
I was inspired by this writer, Jenn Pascua and there was a highlighted sentence in her post, “Choose Not to Fear” which really hit me in the head and I quote,
“It is natural for people to feel fear on attempting to try new things. But sometimes, we have to filter those fears that are already irrational, fears that hinder us to let courage grow within ourselves. ”
She is right. It is only natural for people to feel scared when it comes to trying new things. Certain people have the tendency to avoid any form of new things they find to be mysteriously strange to them. And I for one, fall under that category of people. My absolute fear back then was meeting new people. Those were dark times for me indeed. I couldn’t conjure the courage to talk to anyone whom are mere strangers to me. Even more so, I wasn’t able to initiate a conversation because in my head, I’d constantly ask myself so many questions like: What should I say? What sort of things should I talk about with this person and that person? What am I not suppose to say? With so many questions in mind, I drove myself away from having to converse with people I have not met rather than taking the chances of having a conversation with them. That was what I was fairly “skillful” at; avoiding new people and things.
Then came a day which I can still remember to this day. I was in London with my brother and his family and then, the weekend came. I decided to have the usual walk by myself around Hyde Park so I took the usual 94 bus to get there. While I was sitting down contemplating of life, came this old lady sitting next to me. Thinking about it now, it felt ridiculously bizarre because I can distinctly remember the bus being empty. Out of nowhere and out of the blue, this old lady turned to me and said,
“Don’t be afraid. The world is big and things won’t turn out the way you want them unless you change it.”
When the bus stopped, she exited the bus and went on her way. I sat there, stunned whilst thinking how I have wasted my time and energy being scared when I knew what I had to do was face my fears. And that’s what I kept doing after that. Each time I felt a pang of fear pounding inside my chest, I just went for it. Without questions and without thinking about the repercussions of the aftermath. I started initiating conversations with strangers of all races and religions. I became courageous enough to ask about their perspective of life and what they think. I was open to so many discussions that the fear I felt once before, start to diminish gradually each time I felt a sense of accomplishment for overcoming my fears.
The reason why I am sharing with you this story is to tell you this; I understand. I understand how it must feel to be afraid most of the time. It doesn’t matter what your fear is because I can tell you this, it is only natural. We are bound to experience fear. But I can tell you this. When you grow old, you will indefinitely regret something you didn’t do rather than what you did. Avoiding your problems and fears is not the only one way to solve things. It is like a shelf; you keep avoiding problems and fears, you stack them up in the shelf that when you have no place to stow your problem away, it will tumble down and hit you hard. Then you will have a big problem to handle in the end.
Eventually, you will have to face your fears, one way or another. You just have to know how to be able to turn those fears of yours into something motivational and then will you be able to achieve success! You will come across rejection and disappointment over and over along the way. Failure will somewhat be apart of your life because failure is the one way we can pick our two feet and stand again. When we do meet disappointments along the road, it strips us off from positivity and hope to go on. But like what Jenn Pascua said, “The best way to fight them is to be proactive and treat them as springboards which can slowly lead us to success.”
If you must feel afraid, take all the time in the world to be afraid. But there will come a point of time when you will eventually have to face your fears and give everything you got because at the end of the day, we have to be still, stand and keep on going no matter how hard and deep down into a hole we fall. Don’t let fear spoil what’s inside you and what you can do because the things you did not plan to have in your life are the things that are absolutely worthwhile.
Do you what you fear and fear disappears.
— David Joseph Schwartz